SVA

SVA is still my dream school and I would literally do anything to get into there. If I don't get accepted, who knows what I'll end up doing.

My boredom led me to searching "SVA" on Tumblr and browsing through the blogs that came up. I discovered blogs of current SVA students along with people who are like me, desiring to become a SVA student.

I went from looking through their posts, trying to catch a glimpse of what the life of a SVA student is, to comparing my artistic abilities to their artistic abilities. One in particular inspired me to sketch random people. People are what I always ending up sketching anyway. After I was complete, I felt as if mine was just as good as the ones I saw on the blogs. But once I started digging deeper, I started feeling like it had no comparison.

It really gets me how hard I am on myself about my art. I have no confidence whatsoever. I really hope I create the ultimate portfolio to shine a light on my artistic abilities. If not, my hopes and dreams of being a SVA student are crushed.

Bummer.

I feel like almost all of my friends have found new friends this year and are living life with them and here I am stuck with just school and Starbucks.

Starbucks.

I worked a 6 hour shift tonight. Which isn't bad, it's what I am used to working but I haven't worked more than 5 hours shifts in a couple weeks. Tomorrow I have to take my training class for Starbucks from 10 to 2 then I was supposed to be over but me being the reliable good person that I am is covering a shift for someone so after my class, I have to work a 7 hour shift from 3 to 1030, which will be the longest shift I've worked. Sunday, I work at 9 am which is the earliest I've ever worked and from what I hear, Starbucks is a totally different place to work at in the am than in the pm. 11 am is the earliest I've ever worked and it was pretty insane, so I can't imagine 9 am on a Sunday with everyone on their way to church, but I'll be finding out soon enough.

My weekend is pretty insane, but of course totally consumed by Starbucks. Honestly, I don't mind. I had no plans this weekend and I always get off on the days that I request off so it's all good, plus I enjoy having money in the bank.

Hopefully this headache that forced me to leave school early goes away. It went away after some extra strength Tylenol and a 4 hour nap before work, but now it's coming back. Ugh.

I got my post card in the mail telling me that I get my hard copy of my license on November 15th. It would be more exciting if I actually ever got to use my license, but I guess it's all just more motivation to save up for a car so I can actually drive.

Oh, I got a post card from Lynchburg College, and I'm officially applied. I just have to send my transcripts and SAT scores. I don't really wanna go to Lynchburg though, at all. I just applied because I got an email and it was free, and I was bored.

I think I should go catch some zs now since that's limited this weekend, like all the time.

Deuces.

After about 2 months, my laptop has decided to work. I read online how to reboot it and that it should fix the problem I was having and it never worked for me until tonight.

I am super stressed about everything. Between working 20 to 30 hours weekly, going to school, having 2 AP classes, being Editor in Chief of my school newspaper, and Vice President of National Art Honors Society, alongside applying to colleges, and trying to work on a portfolio, the stress level is currently reaching its maximum occupancy.

Family is pretty stressful too. My grandpa who was really sick for about 2 years, died 2 weeks ago and although all the emotions have dwindled down and my parents are back at work, there's still a lot to be done. Between his money, whether or not to spread his ashes, or have a military funeral, and a million other things. It just adds to the stress.

I have to say I am the most busy I have ever been in my life. Don't get my wrong, I like it. Despite being so stressed, I enjoy constantly having something to do.

Although I am so busy, I really do feel disconnected from all my friends and family. And most importantly, God. I haven't been to church in a while and there's no way I'm going to be able to do GCN this year with school and work.

It bums me out because this is my last year of adolescence, and I should be enjoying my family and friends because once college starts, it will never be the same. However, I'm just too bust for any extravagant social life.